Weekly Spark #253: Your Ideal Day
Welcome to The Weekly Spark, my weekly+ newsletter featuring insights on mental and physical wellness, intentional living, and personal development. Since September 2020, I’ve published 253 reflections hoping to motivate myself and others to live more thoughtful, purpose-driven lives.
During my senior year at SJU, I went on a SEARCH retreat, an off-campus retreat to take a weekend away from campus to focus on deeper reflection and connection. I loved it. It was one of my top 5 experiences and memories from college. A big focus of the weekend was creating space for intentional conversation, which for me brought me into contact with people that I didn’t ordinarily see or talk to on campus, which helped me think more critically about myself and my role in the world, particularly as I thought about post-grad life. One of the discussion questions that resonated with me that I continue to revisit and think about to this day: describe your ideal day. Of course, my initial reaction (as an overanalytical person does) was to add a bunch of questions and contingencies: “realistic or not?” “what’s the season?” “well it would be slightly different depending on where I was.” No Nathan. Your ideal day. You choose the season, the weather, the time of year, the people around you, the things you do. Sure, you might have version A, B, or C, but don’t overthink, just share what comes to your mind.
Got it. 21-year-old me had a pretty crisp vision for this ideal day. It would take place at the beach. First, I would wake up in the morning after a good night’s sleep and play a tennis match. Getting up, competing, and getting a hard workout in right off the bat is important to me. After that, I would have a good breakfast, consisting of a smoothie and an omelet while I relaxed for a bit resting up post-match. Once I was finished with breakfast, I would head to the beach and hangout for the day. While there, I would alternate between reading a good book, boogie boarding, walking, and taking a good ole nap on the beach. Once my beach time ran its course, around 4 o clock (precisely), I would ride the jet ski (that I don’t have) for an hour or 2, hopping waves in the ocean and enjoying the liberating time to cruise. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can be a jet ski and I’ve never been unhappy on a jet ski. To top off the day, I would cook out a nice dinner with some salmon and steak and invite a bunch of friends over to hangout for the night, while listening to some Kygo and Avicii. Exercise. Mental and physical relaxation. Meaningful connection.
It’s a powerful thought exercise. What would your ideal day look like? Getting detailed with the who, what, where, when, and relevant details (like mine above) give us a vision and something to strive for when we have the chance. As we think about it, we can start to imagine the person we would be in the process. Ideally, happy, content, and a higher version of self are some things we would feel. Even if you dream of multiple versions (ideally realistic ones that you could actually create in your life), what are some common themes that you see? The themes are what we should focus on as they give us an opportunity to create more ideal versions of our day-to-day lives.
Of course, we can only control what we can control, so in your realistic versions of your ideal day, how do they differ from your current days? This is where the themes come in. I’m sure for many of us, work might get in the way (or maybe it’s part of your ideal day if you love what you do), but we can still follow the themes. For me, even in the toughest days of work (which can be intrinsically rewarding, at times), if I stick to the core of prioritizing space for exercise, physical and mental relaxation, and meaningful connection, I’ll still consider it a solid day.
Whether it’s ideal days, weeks, or just optimizing time for doing things that we genuinely enjoy, we can be more intentional about how we pursue them. It starts with intentionally gathering data about the things that YOU truly enjoy. Not what society expects you to enjoy at your age, location, or phase of life. Not what you once enjoyed but no longer do. Not what your neighbor enjoys. Intrinsically, things that you enjoy. That’s what we are focused on. I’ve also noticed this is an area that lacks in the realm of vacation and travel for many people (particularly in America), where people may be motivated by things other than their own fulfillment and satisfaction, which never really makes you happy. When I embarked on my first solo trip, the focus was obviously to enjoy myself and grow in the process, but I also wanted to gather data. I hadn’t done a trip like that before so I didn’t really know what I wanted. I’ve learned a million things since then, but part of it was determining the type of trip that I would enjoy the most. I strategically structured it where the first part was mainly outdoors, and nature based (hiking in Switzerland) and the latter part was focused on city and cultural exploration (exploring Lisbon, Portugal). Of course, it’s a privilege to do either, but I realized I felt most alive doing the former, so I structured my future trips around nature and the outdoors. To me, this approach helped me determine my themes and be more intentional when I got the opportunity to get away in the future. Knowing what you want, knowing what you value, and knowing when you’re at your best version of self enables you to better plan your future time.
As you think about ideal days, you can inch closer to building your ideal life. It all comes down to time allocation and prioritizing the things that you enjoy. As you think of themes and things that are most important to you, creating and prioritizing the space to fit those into as many days as possible will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling life.
Couple of quotes on time that spoke to me, in addition to the Quote of the Week:
“Time is a created thing. To say, ‘I don’t have time’ is to say, ‘I don’t want to.’" - Lao Tzu
“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” - William Penn
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” - Steve Jobs
“The way we spend our time, defines who we are.” - Jonathan Estrin
Mental Diet
Quote of the Week:
“The trouble is you think you have time.” - Jack Kornfield
I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. If you are enjoying The Weekly Spark, please share with a friend, family member, or coworker who you think might benefit. If you have thoughts, comments, or feedback, please reply to this email and share them; I’d love to hear from you! Until next time… Take care of yourself and take care of each other. 🙏
Nathan
